For the past couple of months, each and every one of my mornings have been absolutely miserable. Not just in an emotional or psychological sense, but also in a physical sense.
Physically, I am perfectly healthy as far as I am aware. Therefore I know that what I am experiencing is simply my mental illness manifesting itself physically, yet that doesn’t make it any more easier to deal with.
Each and every morning I am waking to find myself within the midsts of a panic attack, my heart will be pounding out of my chest and the nausea is unbearable. Due to this, most of my mornings over the past two months have been spent within the bathroom whilst hoping I don’t actually throw up. From the moment I wake, I cannot escape the grips of the super intense negative feelings that I feel, and I cannot be around people, even my own family.
This lasts for at least two hours, and then it will subside into the state of which I currently am.
I haven’t been in a very good place for the past two months or so, and I do not need this on top of what I am currently dealing with, nor have I ever experienced something similar to this beforehand; which confuses me as to why it is happening now.
I am beginning to become very tired of this, I genuinely do not want to wake up in the mornings knowing that this is what I have to deal with for the next two hours. In fact, with my current mental state, I do not want to have to wake up anyway, let alone with the addition of all of this.
I truly hope that this ends soon, as I am no longer sure of how much longer I can take this for.