Miserable Mornings

For the past couple of months, each and every one of my mornings have been absolutely miserable. Not just in an emotional or psychological sense, but also in a physical sense.

Physically, I am perfectly healthy as far as I am aware. Therefore I know that what I am experiencing is simply my mental illness manifesting itself physically, yet that doesn’t make it any more easier to deal with.

Each and every morning I am waking to find myself within the midsts of a panic attack, my heart will be pounding out of my chest and the nausea is unbearable. Due to this, most of my mornings over the past two months have been spent within the bathroom whilst hoping I don’t actually throw up. From the moment I wake, I cannot escape the grips of the super intense negative feelings that I feel, and I cannot be around people, even my own family.

This lasts for at least two hours, and then it will subside into the state of which I currently am.

I haven’t been in a very good place for the past two months or so, and I do not need this on top of what I am currently dealing with, nor have I ever experienced something similar to this beforehand; which confuses me as to why it is happening now.

I am beginning to become very tired of this, I genuinely do not want to wake up in the mornings knowing that this is what I have to deal with for the next two hours. In fact, with my current mental state, I do not want to have to wake up anyway, let alone with the addition of all of this.

I truly hope that this ends soon, as I am no longer sure of how much longer I can take this for.

I’m tired.

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8 thoughts on “Miserable Mornings

  1. Hang in there. I can imagine how tiring and difficult this must be. But things will get better. Don’t try to fight how you feel.. embrace it. It’s ok to think and feel negativity. It’s what you do with it that matters.
    Here’s wishing you more strength to deal with all this. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hang in there. I know it doesn’t help much for me to tell you that I have been there and I know what you feel when you are sick for no reason and wake up in a complete panic attack having no idea why. I hope that you have the strength to get through this. I’m here if you want/need to talk.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Sending good vibes your way! I hope things are going a little better for you. I remember the months out of my life where panic attacks woke me out of a dead sleep and I’d jump out of bed with my arms numb and my vision blurry and I’d barge into my parents room convinced I was dying or being abducted by aliens . . . and I’d hyperventilate until it went away and then feel like absolute shit for the rest of the day. I just remember thinking wtf is wrong with me. So I feel your pain. It’s not easy, but I know you can make it through this!

    Liked by 1 person

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